Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
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i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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