you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
