Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Vodka?
Forever.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
