he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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