Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize