i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
