how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
