I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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