That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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