how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
