Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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