I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I supernannyed him into submission
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
