we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
