dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
