I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
