high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
