Only a mothe r could love this liver
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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