Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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