They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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