I'm eating all of the evidence.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
