So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Semen is not good for contacts.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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