Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
