i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
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