he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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