im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
