bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
