too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
