Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
