Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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