I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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