The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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