I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
