make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
