Say something about gay babies.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
