I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
