And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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