New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
nutella sex= disaster
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
