I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
