tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
