bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
