I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
