She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
