when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
