whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
