:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
