So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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