mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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