i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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