You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
