Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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