what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize