He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
