Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
