i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
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you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
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Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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