he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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