Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
