Plan B is the new Plan A
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Someone signed my nipple.
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