Why are handjobs necessary in class?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He better not be in your backpack
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
