Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We had to coat check the pizza.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
