Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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