i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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