just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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