I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
