Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
