nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I don't deserve a penis
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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