Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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