You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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