I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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