We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
