Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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